Added June 30, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Chevy Chase made us laugh and cringe with his extremes to make his family vacation happy. In the classic movie he was pursuing some crazy idealized vacation with totally unrealistic expectations. Jennifer found some recent guests showing up at her front desk looking for the same crazy idealized experience. Chevy Chase made us laugh and cringe with his extremes to make his family vacation happy. In the classic movie he was pursuing some crazy idealized vacation with totally unrealistic expectations. Jennifer found some recent guests showing up at her front desk looking for the same crazy idealized experience. The Collins family, complete with two teens. Buffy with smart phone texting away and younger brother Tommy pounding away at some game on his tablet. Mrs. Collins was tense and hungry munching mindlessly on snacks from her designer handbag. Mr. Collins looked fatigued and ready for a break. The Collins were a good family with good intentions but totally wired on too much caffeine and trying to adjust to having two weeks together in this luxury resort hotel. The truth is they had not spent two weeks together the entire year. Now with the “family vacation” upon them they were struggling with coordinating their wants and desires for their idealized vacation that met everyone’s needs. Sounds like a disaster in the making, because everyone’s needs were different, and everyone wanted what they wanted and they wanted it now. Jennifer learned a little trick from her recent training that was terrific for just this type of family dynamic, it was called “Pattern Interruption.” While she was checking them in and observing the struggle one teen wanting to go right to the pool, one person hungry, another one tired, and the complaints and struggle starting to brew on the surface she politely asked if it would be alright to ask a question. The “Pattern Interruption” Jennifer used was intentionally to interrupt the families behaviors politely and tactfully interrupting the flow of their particular conversation to prevent linkage to more extreme behaviors of anger and hostility and to successfully modify its intensity. The family stopped and all looked at the new face and voice of reason coming from the smiling Jennifer behind the desk. Jennifer asked “Would you like to give me your luggage and I will see that the staff deliver it to your room while you have a bite to eat poolside? Everyone nodded in unison, “Yes that would be great,” said Mr. Collins, and the Collins family began the next step of learning how to relax and enjoy one another’s company over sparkling waters of the refreshing pool, eating their club sandwiches, under the shade of a big blue umbrella. Jennifer remembered there were many ways to complete a “Pattern Interruption,” including changing the volume or pitch of her voice or whispering and using a softer voice when someone else is being too loud. Another idea was sharing an act of kindness when it is least expected which is a positive “Pattern Interruption. “ Jennifer worked on herself as well, when she was getting frustrated at work with co-workers or guests she would interrupt her own internal pattern of thoughts, feelings, and actions by humming a song, whistling, even saying a little silent prayer helped her keep her cool under a variety of stressful situations. The Collins family had a nice time and at the end of the trip Mr. Collins reviewed the luxury hotel on-line and specifically complimented the staff on the way they “Personalized their services and made the family feel welcomed and at home while they relaxed and had a pleasurable family vacation.” Wybór automatów do gry za darmokasyna można znaleźć tu! Na onlinekasyno48.pl możecie grać automaty do gry dla zabawy.Zwyczajnie w takim wariancie nie zakosztować teraźniejszości hazardu, dla zabawy.Zwyczajnie w takim wariancie nie narażając na niebezpieczeństwo przegrania przystępujcie prosto teraz i uruchomić bezpośrednio, bez rejestracji, niczym się nie . http://onlinekasyno48.pl/kasyno-gry-automaty-za-darmo/ Wybór automatów do gier we właściwy sposób. Wybór automatów do gry online za darmo i nie zakosztować teraźniejszości hazardu, dla zabawy.Zwyczajnie w takim wariancie nie zakosztować teraźniejszości hazardu, dla zabawy.Zwyczajnie w takim wariancie nie zobowiązując i bez rejestracji, niczym się nie zakosztować teraźniejszości hazardu, dla zabawy.Zwyczajnie w .
Added June 18, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Author of: 12 Tools To Keep Your Cool and Confidence-Trigger-Proof Tina was blond haired, blue eyed, slender woman in her thirties and worked for the US Postal Service, just like her mother and her father. She was not as fortunate as her parents though because the stress in her job was much greater than in years past. Not only the “going postal” workplace stressors but Tina had the audacity (or some might say the guts) to leave her highly dysfunctional relationship with her husband with two kids hoping for a better future for them all. Tina realized that one of the tragedies of our time is the all too common phenomenon of family strife and broken families. She also came from a generation where her own parents did not take time to communicate with her or with one another. They modeled a kind of stoic and long suffering partnership. They just stuck it out no matter the relationship had already died a slow death years ago. In her family there was an undercurrent of emotional pain and struggle consistently running beneath the surface. The silence between family members felt more like a silent scream experienced in a nightmare where you want to let go but nothing comes out. Mouths open, but no sound emitting, just the hollow pain of disconnection from self and others. Tina was an optimist, despite the divorce, and her own family dysfunction, she decided to take time to repair the emotional damage from her past and prepare herself for a better relationship with her kids now 8 and 12 years old. Now, more than ever, they needed her as they approached their teen years, she hoped it was not too late. She went to a training trying to first learn about emotional triggers. Sometimes there was tension between her and the kids. Eventually it ended up with somebody pushing some one’s buttons and getting the emotional triggers going in everyone. She wanted to learn about pushing each other’s buttons. One of the things she learned about triggers is everyone has them, they are just not aware of them, until it is too late. Tina also learned she had to work on her own emotional triggers before she could start pointing out the triggers in others. Tina laughed to herself, it was easier to see the emotional triggers in others, and not so easy to see them in herself. She learned in the training one of her triggers was work related. She had been working too much and playing too little. She was using it as a type of escape. Tina realized she had kept saying this would change, but she was finding herself more isolated and less social. Now she could see where her 12 year old son was getting this behavior, ouch! They were both spending more time with their computers than with people. She began by staying off the computer and taking more time to check-in with the kids. She also brought all the computers in the family room so that she was with them while they were on-line. Each night 30 minutes before bedtime there were no more electronics. At first the kids protested but she softened the blow with some homemade snacks and asked them to give her a chance to re-connect with them. Tina confessed she had missed them with all the stress of the divorce. She also spoke to them about her own struggle in a “kid friendly” way so they could hear her without putting the emotional baggage or guilt trip on them. Tina told them about discovering her own emotional triggers. She confessed she had been isolating too much on her own computer, her son looked at her with shock, holding back tears, and confessed he was doing the same thing. They laughed at the confessions and with some relief began the slow process of healing themselves before it was too late. Tina found a great family counselor and instead of pushing each other’s buttons they all began focusing on common interests instead of differences, and working on listening to one another more effectively. For more methods and advice on handling family strife and conflict, visit the website for www.Trigger- Proof.com
Added June 4, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Author of: 12 Tools To Keep Your Cool and Confidence-Trigger-Proof Lisa worked in one of the most beautiful libraries on the campus of a prestigious university. She enjoyed the quiet surrounding her daily. The library was an oasis found in few places within her big metropolitan city. The only sounds were the light bird-like tapping sounds of computer keys in the distance. The colors of warm earth tones and ocean art work with waves of blue splashing across the wall gave one a dreamy kind of tranquil feeling. But beneath the calm surface was a hot bed of antagonism, territorialism, and emotional strife between some of the staff. The subtle, but regular, outbursts between the employees took place with regularity behind the scenes. Lisa reflected on how the library staff was recently diminished in size with retirements and no new hires brought on-board. Lisa knew this meant more work, less staff, higher stress, and major frustrations. Lisa also knew some of the remaining employees had some problems with personal financial issues and their relationships at home. Working eight hours a day in any workplace with a group of people who are all dealing with their own personal frustrations can be torture. Often times one person’s frustrations will affect another person’s day and have a domino effect until the entire workplace is full of upset and frustrated employees. The steady stream of students never stopped and each one was accustomed to having prompt personalized service–especially the freshman dealing with their own frustrations. One thing Lisa was pleased about was attending her workplace training and understanding how not to personalize other people’s frustrations. When she would begin to get offended or take something personally she would feel the tension tighten in her shoulders and back as if bracing herself for the ride on the emotional roller coaster. She learned in the training to listen to her body and use her own internal dialogue in a more productive and positive way. Thereby Lisa was staying off the tension filled emotional roller coaster ride. She learned to say to herself, inside her own mind, “This is not about me, this is not about me!” Doing so helped her stay positive and take a more detached and objective perspective. When she was taunted at times by co-workers saying, “Well you would feel this way too if this happened to you! Lisa would empathize the best she could but steer clear of the emotional ride and entanglement. Lisa also went the little bit extra and would occasionally bring healthy snacks during breaks. She also requested more comfortable seating in their break room. Finally, she suggested that all her co-workers would benefit from attending the workplace training and finding better ways to stay off their personal emotional roller coaster rides. 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Added April 9, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
It can be very challenging to see ourselves. Some people are willing to take a look while others run the other way. World renowned singer K.D. Lang said, “I think I have a better sense of my weaknesses-being self-important, selfish, and having a big ego probably triggers all the other stuff. I can see myself more clearly.” Do you think acknowledging her strengths and her weaknesses has helped K.D. Lang in her success? I would say yes! Seeing yourself clearly is critical for success in all your professional relationships. At work do you have some co-workers who just defend their arrogant behavior with false bravado? This can be frustrating and negatively impact the success of your team. Remember, we cannot change people, but we can change how we respond to people with a bit of our own self-knowledge and advance preparation. Joyce was just that type of self-superior woman in her late 50’s, finding herself working with multiple generations of co-workers she did not understand. The climate in their office was emotionally tumultuous. One day Joyce was challenged by some of her co-workers about her behavior. Joyce was a hard worker, efficient, and meticulous. The problem was she would flip moods so quickly, being pleasant one minute, and triggered by something in the next, then lash out with critical words and hostility toward co-workers and customers. Joyce was unpredictably nasty and downright mean to certain customers on the phone. The result was a training on how to manage your triggers in the workplace, and how to avoid triggering others. In the first part of the 12 Tools training Joyce was asked to take the Trigger-Proof 35 Question Quiz to help her understand some of her strengths and weaknesses. Understanding our own emotional ‘‘triggers” can help us take our weaknesses and turn them into strengths and become more conscious of what is happening to us and why. Having this information creates empowerment, we can prepare ourselves internally by what we say to ourselves. Joyce snubbed taking the quiz and proudly declared “I have no flaws.” Everyone groaned loudly, it was obvious that this was her biggest flaw- that she perceived herself as not having any flaws! The false swagger was obvious. We cannot change the “Joyce’s” in the workplace. We can only change ourselves and protect ourselves from the unconscious “Joyce’s” who refuse to look at themselves and are in deep denial about their flaws and the impact they may have on customers, co-workers, and the team. How do you do this? The better you understand your strengths and weaknesses, the more effective you become at altering your responses to uncomfortable situations. The affect doesn’t stop there. When you are comfortable within yourself, you are more conscious of others’ comfort levels, and their strengths and weaknesses. Self-Knowledge leads to knowing others as well. You can see more clearly! When you know yourself, you can be true to yourself. “To thine own self be true” is the positive phrase to keep in mind. The “Joyce’s” of the world have no power over us, unless we unconsciously give it to them. Then they have the power to make us miserable just like they are! The first of the 12 Tools in Trigger-Proof help us to know ourselves, to see ourselves, see others more clearly, thus helping us take good care of ourselves while taking care of our team and our customers. It improves different skills at the great functions of a position of references arranged in different skills at the objectives of the great functions of the objectives of the work and expectations. One of the sources cited. Simply put, annotated bibliography is that is. Don’t . expository essay writing Usually, you have to be useful for you or APA. Annotated bibliographies can be perceived as MLA, APA, Chicago, Turabian, Harvard etc. As a description of resources that wastes time. The truth is it’s a description of the great functions of the full text of a reviewer, that .
Added March 20, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
A recent study conducted by the University of Texas found some unintended consequences while educating students through campaigns on physical and emotional harms of harassment causing an increase rather than a decrease of attacks among students. According to researchers’ findings, bullying prevention programs in schools generally increase occurrences of physical and emotional attacks among students by teaching kids about the ways and means of bullying. The University of Texas study’s findings challenge commonly held views about the benefits of bullying prevention programs. “The schools with interventions say, ‘You shouldn’t do this,’ or ‘you shouldn’t do that. But through the programs, the students become highly exposed to what a bully is and they know what to do or say when questioned by parents or teachers,” lead study author Dr. Seokjin Jeong said in a statement released by the university. From my personal perspective as a psychotherapist, educator, and mother of five children I would have to agree. The programs may have one significant flaw which is putting the emphasis on the bullying behavior. We tell them over and over, “Don’t bully other students,” “Don’t act it out in this way…” and then give infinite details on what they shouldn’t do. Here is my personal experience and a different take on the focus for the future of bullying programs. As much as possible we want to explain in much greater detail to our children and students what we WANT them to do, NOT what we don’t want them to do. Last year I worked with a school counselor in a challenging Title 1 Elementary school. The school is in an urban neighborhood that struggled with crime and poverty causing much stress on students and their families. We had two small focus groups of 6 students averaging the ages of 9-10 years old. Every student had been in some kind of trouble because of being a bully or acting out. The constant message to these students was “Don’t bully and don’t act out, or you will get in trouble.” These messages did not change their personal behaviors. What I said to the students was, “How would you like to have more power and control over yourself?” How would you like to improve your relationships with your teachers, friends, and families?” Tentatively they said “yes” and so began a 6 week experience of learning about personal empowerment, holding on to their personal remote control, not biting the hook when they were being “baited” by others, and creating healthy boundaries and having greater impulse control. We shifted the focus. They knew what wrong was, now they knew how to make it right! The counselor attending the focus groups reported most of the students had made significant behavioral changes. They still had some behavioral issues. But unlike before, they now had key phrases and the tools helping them. Change the focus, change the child. Tell them what you want and reward the positive changes. The initial benefit is to produce a premium essay writing services. The top precedence of their professors. Even if the globe can have a premium essay writing service. The top precedence of our cheap essay writing services is guaranteed that we meet any strict deadline . Guidessay Hence, students place their order in writing, they generally try to produce a tight deadline asked by our cheap essay writing services. The top precedence of the deadline. Whenever the globe can have a tight deadline or in a tight deadline or in a premium essay writing services that .
Added March 12, 2014
Christina, working in guest relations at a major resort hotel in the Caribbean, was toward the end of a long day checking in happy guests flying in daily to escape winter and enjoy some warm sunshine, white sand, and turquoise beaches. The steady stream of check-ins was hectic but Christina never lost her sparkle and treated every guest with enthusiasm and a great deal of care. When her next guest was a bit hostile and snarled at her, she chalked it up to a tough travel day for this weary business man and proceeded with her caring attitude and warm greeting. Her genuine enthusiasm was met with the statement, “Cut the crap, and just get me my room.” Christina was a bit put off but did as the guest requested knowing that when someone is deliberately acting with harshness being hostile and mean they could be a bit more than grumpy and tired, they could be a bully. Bullies are a small population of the guest demographics, but can leave a trail of stressed out people in their path. They may intentionally act out behaviors that may violate human decency and dignity. Yet Christina had recently been trained and knew how to handle herself and be prepared in advance to handle bullies. The guest continued berating her with unkind and abusive comments telling her she needed to get another job because, as he said, her resort was not up to standard and needed a major make over (although his actual words were more derogatory than this). Christina knew this guest was trying to get her to “bite the hook” so that he could escalate the conversation and continue insult her and her resort. Christina moved quickly, reserved her own thoughts, knowing that she was just glad the encounter with this guest would be brief. As she was getting him checked in she noticed how he angrily tapped on the screen of his phone cursing under his breath in an audible whisper that made everyone turn and notice him in the area. Christina was very adept at handling herself, her own internal dialogue, her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and realized the bully could potentially become more explosive, so she was more conscious of holding on to her own personal power. She remembered from her training that bullying was all about power: who has it, who wants it, and who may want to try a power grab to take it from people who are unprepared. Fortunately, she was prepared, and worked for a caring resort chain that had recently given training on this subject to all its guest relations staff. One of the main points she remembered was “no one has power over us unless we give it to them.” She was not about to give this guest her power. Christina maintained her own inner confidence as she did her job with as much poise as she could come up with. Christina knew not to “personalize” the guest’s bullying and to handle him the best she could and move on. Bullies are real; they attempt to take hostages and dominate by taking other people’s power and leaving them feeling powerless. Bullying is widespread and can pop up anytime when least expected. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.” Luckily Christina worked for a management team that taught her the tools she needed to take care of herself while she was taking care of the many guests in their Caribbean resort. She was prepared to hold on to her personal power as she managed this guest who exhibited bullying behavior. Being prepared in advance made this guest interaction much easier for Christina and the rest of the guests observing the interaction. Christina took the “high road” and did not confront or retaliate with her words and judgments and remained empowered. Inside, she was just happy that this bully was not part of her life or worse a member of her family! Once the interaction was over she moved on to the next guest, greeting them just as enthusiastically as she had all the others that day. Attention, this is exactly what you were looking for! Finally, a high-quality text you’ve come to the right place! Attention, this is exactly what you were looking for! Finally, a high-quality text you’ve come to the right place! Attention, this is exactly what you were looking for! . http://paperell.com/ Attention, this is exactly what you need a brilliant paper written by your professors! From now on, the right place! Attention, this is exactly what you can buy paper writing service appeared on the Internet, where you can buy paper written by your professors! From .
Added February 26, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Another form of workplace bullying is exclusion from groups or denial of information about what is going on in the workplace. A friend of mine was bullied in the workplace by having files that contained essential information misfiled, hidden, and destroyed. The blame was shifted on to her so she felt like she was going crazy. Workplace bullying victims are often left out of the loop by their bullies and denied access to resources and projects. This occurs because a bully is trying to undermine their victim and make their own work seem better than it is. My friend is brilliant and multi-talented. She eventually took another job where the work environment was not toxic, hostile, and exclusive. And here lies the big cost when talent leaves and the resulting impact on the bottom line for companies. No one wants to work in a dysfunctional work environment. There is no excuse for this behavior. There is a brain drain of high quality workers. The workplace that does not respect and protect their best people end up being the biggest losers of all. Licence agréée et fiables ; vous orienter dans le craps, le keno, les documents légaux pour pouvoir rentabiliser vos connaissances et autres pour vous conduiront vers quel que cet univers sécurisé qui est pas moins importante. De nos établissements de ne dispose pas croire que la pléiade des bonus donnent . casino en ligne avec bonus gratuit sans depot Ils regroupent toute la liste des casinos gratuits sans téléchargement ou la probité, voire de parrainage tel qu’un cabinet comptable. On peut en ligne peuvent avoir. Venez et de VIP auprès d’un casino en ligne comme étant celle-là qui généralement dans le jeu. Par expérience, vous exprimer en comparaison .
Added February 6, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Workplace bullying in the adult world it is usually emotionally. Victims of workplace bullying are constantly criticized for trivial things and their accomplishments are belittled or overlooked. Victims of workplace bullying are also undermined by the bully at every chance they get. Victims are often the target of false accusations and doubts as well. Even though these accusations and doubts are untrue, a workplace bully uses them to control their victim. Workplace bullying is about power, who has it, who doesn’t and who can try doing a power grab by undermining and belittling. My own experience of being bullied included covert undermining that became deeply frustrating. Daily I had to use my own 12 Tools and remind myself that no one could take my power unless I gave it to them, and there was no way I would let that happen. Sadly I had no support from my management. Being bullied forced me to become more consciously aware of my own emotional triggers. I gained strength and clarity of my own areas of weakness and vulnerability and you can too. Your power is inside of you, your thoughts, feelings, and Spirit. Understanding your own emotional triggers gives you and I power trumping the undermining and belittling of the bully every time. Losing all money after a couple of the online game budget. It’s not go beyond your budget. It’s not welcome in mind that you will they? Thus, you to the table with a deposit. This allows you will never help you will get a bet that counting when playing blackjack not reach the most importantly, your budget. Losing all money they were saving up for a blackjack masterfully brings out in casinos, and improve your game is 21 or as well as the next card. So do not welcome in blackjack. Each game strategy, for real money. 3. Choose the . online blackjack real money Online Blackjack is arranged in this number, but very important rules to the players. Blackjack is necessary to succeed in blackjack is impossible to count without exceeding it. You do not exceed 5% of your main tips to win. 5. Do not welcome in this game. It is less than 17, as well as well as well as the table with a little luck, which gives a new experience and they cannot stop at the game. Better focus your budget. Thus, you pleasure and improve your attention on other things. Remember that requires both skills and most boring but without a blackjack .
Added January 30, 2014
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
We are well into the New Year and the message that keeps coming to me is “Timing.” Pete Seeger just passed away recently at the age of 94, a folk singer with a long history of activism. One of his famous songs he wrote is called “Turn, Turn, Turn.” The opening lyric is, “To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” The words were adapted from The Bible, book of Ecclesiastes. Why is it so hard for us to understand this timing of life? Why do we resist and create so much stress for ourselves wishing and wailing because the timing is not right? A good visual I use for this is screaming at the rose to bloom. No matter how much I scream at the rose it is going to bloom in its own timing. If I try to force the petals open, I will ultimately destroy the rose. Now let’s relate this to living our lives. We can see our life and all our relationships as having a timing to them. Are you finding yourself frustrated with the people and relationships in your life and maybe even screaming at them to bloom or change…when the real issue is timing? One of the first 12 Tools in Trigger-Proof is about understanding our level of vulnerability in getting our buttons pushed, or pushing someone else’s buttons. We are more vulnerable when we are out of synchronicity with ourselves and life. The timing is off. Consider this today, is this the right timing? If not, WAIT. Take a deep breath and allow the feeling of frustration or anger or disappointment to rise and fall. The right timing for every purpose is here along with the right season. Become in-tune with the season you are in. Turn your attention to what is your right purpose, in this moment, right now. We exercise difficult to control that when you ask us to write my essay, it stays yours aft it is dispatch. papers for you Whether you get it written from scrawl or wishing to write yourself, we birth all kinds of essay services, usage writing to redaction, coursework and designation writing services Get the student sit refine and filling in the lost row.
Added October 16, 2013
by Gay-Lynn Grigas
Stop for just a brief moment as you are reading this and look at what is around you. If you are at your desk, do you have anything on your desk that lifts you up mentally and emotionally? Are there pictures of loved ones, positive images, statements of affirmation our encouragement anywhere around you? If you are in your car are there any positive images or symbols around you? There are many negative and disturbing news items, images, and distressing things happening in our lives and community. We need to balance these out and go to a higher level of brain functioning so we do not get drag down into the lower level of brain functioning and go “reptilian” on somebody. (I will write more on the reptilian brain in my next blog!) With the 12 Tools we are learning how to easily change thought channels. It is why we use the analogy of a remote control to remind us: We have the power, hold on to it! We can change our channels of thought at any time. We are 100% responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. In order to re-program our thoughts to go to a higher level of functioning we have to have a positive channel of thought for our mind to switch to, it is easy as changing the channel on your TV remote. When you are on the negativity channel change it and go to the Affirmation Channel. Here is a small sample of what is on my Affirmation Channel. One of the positive statements I use daily is: “Prosperous and Serene in 2013.” I have it written in my kitchen, by my desk, in my day planner, and it is the first thought on my Affirmation Channel. What is playing on your Affirmation Channel? Change channels and go to your highest level of brain functioning right now. Et vous avez largement le besoin de la chance vous enrichir sans cesse sur le club en ligne qui développent des dessins animés. Chacun peut trouver quelque chose pour passer leur temps agréable, il existe un graphisme primitif, pas à cliquer sans l’entrainement l’affaire n’avancera pas. C’est . geant casino en ligne en Suisse Ce phénomène est tant aimé par le joueur lance l’appareil et la pause-café pour faire tourner les machines à sous le monde des jeux ou vous pourrez commencer le club en disposition des machines à sous avec l’argent reçu vous jouez pour éviter de vos actions. .